An Angel's Whisper

As I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, a memory comes to mind. It is of my little sister and I, squeezed into a little day bed, too trying to fall asleep but failing. We weren't tired. So, as we often would, we asked Mom to sing us a song. Mom always claimed that she couldn't sing and therefore was always reluctant to comply with our request, but did nonetheless. I remember her smell, always of lotion before bed. And how she felt, she always wore silk pajamas. But as I lay here, remembering this memory, I cannot remember her voice. The voice that always calmed my fears and adorned me with "I love you Jilly Bean"s, the voice that taught me right from wrong and where I came from and who I am, the voice that sang me to sleep and sounded so beautiful despite what she said. That voice escapes my memory....

My mind whirls and I try to focus, to hear what I know is there, somewhere, but nothing. Not mom, not Jamie, no Nikki. I have lost so many memories. Just, fallen through the cracks, and now the few that remain, have been stripped. Silent films, too immature for this time. I need more than that. They desreve than that! How could this happen and how can I keep it from continuing? It's bad enough that I can't hear them calming my fears and whispering "I love you", its bad enough that I can't hear their direction that I pray for every night, its bad enough that I can't hear my mom's motherly advice as I try to raise my own son, but to not be able to hear their voices in a simple memory. Something that should be mine, safe from tampering, safe from death. That is just cruel.

Easy Like Monday Morning

It's Monday morning, err, afternoon, and I am, actually, in the best mood! I worked out this morning, I've been staying in my diet for almost two weeks now (and by diet I just mean portion control and counting calories) and I am feeling great. I've got on new clothes that fit so well (I got the nicest compliment from a friend at church yesterday on my new skirt) and my energy is up, my mood is up, and all around I AM FEELIN GOOD!!! I get off work (early) in an hour and a half which means I get to go see my hubby before he has to go to work!! And then I'll prob get some groceries (maybe a new thing of face powder) and go home to put Aiden to bed, shower, and maybe sneak in an episode of Grey's before hittin my pillow!!!

I just love the way I feel today!! Gimme more!!

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

The Week's Gone By...

So I realize the personal posts have been put on the back burner (given, some of you may be grateful for this) and for that I apologize. Life has been crazy and I have been very overwhelmed.

All last week, Will (the 5yr old that I watch) was on spring break. So I got to have both boys home all day along with Aiden :) It was definitely a HANDFUL! I didn't think that 3 hours a day would really make all that much of a difference. You could tell he was all strung out about being at home all week and Garrett was fighting for the attention he normally gets when Will is at school. And to top it all off, I was getting VERY little sleep each night. So the week was long but a good experience... who knows, maybe one day I'll actually have 3 boys of my own and this is good practice (and if I only have girls from here on out I'll just be OVERLY prepared :) ha)

On Wednesday I had a meeting that I was supposed to go to at 6. So I got off work early and got ready and made my way over to the Cosmetology Center for their Informational Meeting concerning registration and such (it is required before you can apply to the program). Well, I got there (after being very stressed about GETTING there) just to find out that it had been canceled. Perfect.

So I went home and saw my husband (he had just gotten home from work) and then decided to go do some shopping. The last time I bought clothes for myself was when I bought a FEW maternity items and before that? ... psh. who knows.. So I was in DEEP need of a few items (capris, t-shirts, ect. you know, g-proof summer stuff) And for once, I actually had the energy, motivation, and self(not)loathing that i need to actually venture into a dressing room.

It was a wonderful night. I found some GREAT items on the clearance racks that fit PERFECTLY!! I was thrilled and feel so great about myself when I wear them!!

The weekend was incredibly low key--just the way I like it! Friday I babysat ALL day, 7:30AM-11:30PM. Once I got all of the boys in bed I just vegged out on the couch and enjoyed the peace. Saturday, Aiden and I took a very easy going morning (naps all around) and then ran a couple of errands. Oh, and visited Dad at work because he got dehydrated and almost passed out, yeah, awesome.

Then we went over to our friend Miss Katie's (actually her mom's house because they live closer so we met there) to meet her new little baby, Grayson. He was SO adorable!! A week and a half old, and OH so little!! It made me realize how BIG Aiden has gotten!!! Aiden is practically a toddler, he looks nothing like a baby anymore!! :) & :(

And then Easter Sunday, I got to sing with my kids :) :) :) I LOVE PRIMARY!!!!! We had a blast and I always leave amped and ready to face the next week!! My kids rock. Its true.

After that, we just enjoyed the evening. No chaos, just laughing and enjoying one another. It was a perfect weekend!

Peace, Love, and CookieDough

Cheap Date Ideas

My Focus on Marriage.
I think that TK and I need to make more time for date night. And even though things are tight, we can still managed to do SOMETHING. Here is a list from niftydateideas.com and its just one of many. They have First Date ideas, romantic ideas, ect. But this list was specific to us and probably many of you. Hope you enjoy it and get an idea to treat yourselves to a night out!

Go on a nature hike—pick wild flowers or have a picnic
Do some service. Rake leaves, plant flowers for a neighbor, shovel snow on all the walks of a given street... etc. ~Julie
Get plain white pillow cases and paint and create your own pillow cases! ~Samantha Garrett
Go to a public place, like starbucks, and just hang out and talk ~Celia
Draw pictures of each other... show off that artsy side.
Play UNO in the middle of a public place
Visit a nursing home or a rest home
Describe your life in pictures by cutting them out of magazines or make up a story from the pictures.
Watch the sunrise—watch the sunset
Play Board games—Monopoly, Candy Land, Sorry
Pick Wild Berries
Dollar date
Directions: start with a main dish (like pizza) then go to the store and give each person $1. Each person chooses something (for a dollar or less) to have with your main dish.
Play Frisbee golf
Find a muddy area, dress in old clothing and have a mud fight.
Tour Historical Buildings
Play your favorite sport together
Play capture-the-flag or hide-and-seek in a park
Play croquet at a park—maybe on your school campus grounds
Go rollerblading – better yet, go roller-skating!
Play pool, foosball, or ping-pong
Go visit your local planetarium
Play Guitar Hero or Rock Band
Free factory tours
Have a coupon date – go through the local newspaper together and find coupons to use on your date
Go fishing
Make Tee Shirts – start with some blank white or collared tees, then get creative with sharpies and paint.
Find a good service project or volunteer activity in your area
Walk through the library or a bookstore—Find a corner to sit and read a children’s book together
Have a cotton ball fight—buy several bags of cotton balls to throw at each other (or marshmallows)
Draw Pictures with Sidewalk Chalk
Story time—take turns recording pieces of a story
Directions: One person starts recording a story while the other leaves the room ending their segment with “and then…” the other person picks up telling the next part of the story, and ends their segment with “and then…” this continues until someone decides to tell “The end”.
Go and volunteer together at the local animal shelter
Geocaching—This can be a lot of fun
Wash your cars together—Its always fun to play with water
Plant something together—A tree, flowers, vegetables… anything at all!
Build something together out of play dough
Go to Wal-Mart or Target late at night and play with the toys
Walk your dog(s)—or borrow a neighbor’s dog
Have a water balloon fight or set up a slip-in-slide
Blindfold your date for a surprise dinner and take them to McDonalds. Only, make your table really fancy with a tablecloth, nice dishes and cups, etc. Craft your own fancy menu and enlist your roommates or younger siblings to be your servers. ~Laurie
Go To Mcdonalds And Order Random Food. Then Put Blindfolds On Eachother And Guess What The Food You Randomly Ordered Food Is. Its super Fun And You Get To Eat At The Same Time ! ~ Claudia
Handmake cards and drop them off to random neighbors in the area. They can say things like "rose are red, violets are blue, you don't me and I don't know you! Have a great day anyway!" or put a funny joke in them. Using crayons to disguise your age is another fun twist. See just how childish you can make them look. Then go drop them off on front steps around a neighborhood. A small offering of candy or cookies is always a good way to pin the card to the doorstep so it doesn't fly away.
~ Kadi


Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

Why Am I Not There Yet?

I am a very impatient person. Its awful, really. It gets in my way a lot! TK hates it. And I can't blame him! I want things to happen right when I want them. I don't understand hold ups. I believe if you really want to get something done, you can. You just have to do it. And that's the mindset that I'm pretty sure I've always had.

Well now that I have been working at being a better me, its become abundantly clear that it is going to take TIME.

I hate time. There's never enough when you need it and it always takes forever when you just want it to pass! Its completely unmanageable and doesn't play well with others!

So basically this comes down to two issues:
1.) I have so many things that I want to do in a day but never seem to have enough time to get to them all. The goal for time management is clearly not going so well for me. That and my mind sucks so I just plain forget things that I meant to do... ha. Yeah. I'm special.
2.) When I DO find time and put forth efforts, it seems to be friviless. For example, working out. I work out, and i've been counting calories and i've only gained weight. How stupid and it almost makes me wanna throw in the towel on that one. But instead I am going to try to use that impatient irritation to motivate me to work harder!

So yeah. Gotta get over the impatience deal or it'll ruin me.

Peace, Love, and CookieDough

Mormon Channel

Yes! There's an App for that!

So I was exploring on my phone the other day and apparently there is an application called Mormon Channel. And it is directly from the LDS church. It has archives of Conference videos, magazine articles, the scriptures, BYU devotionals, live radio, and SO much more!! I hope to be able to use this tool to get my daily spiritual upliftment :) So far I've done good at personal prayer and scripture study and hopefully I will be able to continue.

The app will help me to be able to have no excuse to not read my scriptures daily (I will have a copy with me at all times) and I can review recent conference talks that I may have dozed through :)

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

http://radio.lds.org/?lang=eng

5 Min Pilate's Workout

Who can say "no" to a FIVE MINUTE WORKOUT?!?! It works your Biceps, Triceps, Chest, Upper Back, Core, Glutes, Quads, Inner Thighs, and Obliques. IN FIVE MINUTES!!! And you can do it right in your house, no gym, no extra accessories necessary!! And its just 4 different things, easy to memorize so you don't need your computer i front of you for it, its a great thing for someone with NO time to spare!!

So c'mon people, GET OFF YOUR BUTTS AND TRY IT!! Right here, right now, GO! (I DARE YOU!)

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/pilates/exercises/5-minute-pilates-workout/?pageno=1

Personally, the first one kills me. My upper body strength is NOT what I want it to be right now... But I did this one. Took a little longer than 5 min considering Aiden was still awake so I had to stop in between to resupply his toys that he'd thrown :) But it was STILL quick!

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

The Early Bird Gets to Feed the Crying Baby

Twice in the past week Aiden has woken up in the middle of the night for an extra feeding. Err, feeding and A HALF. Can anyone say GROWTH SPURT!? A couple of nights ago it was a 2am. Luckily TK was being the night owl that he is and I got to go back to bed once I made him aware of our child crying in his crib. (Mother's hearing.. it has its good and bad...) But he ate a bottle and a half before he'd stop crying for more. And then THIS morning, the morning that I didn't have to be to work at my normal time, I could have slept in an extra hour and a half.. or two.. THIS morning, he woke up an hour and a half EARLIER than normal!! And so now I get to be awake with him because he thinks its normal wakeup time (for SOME AWFUL REASON) I feel like I need to take him aside and explain,

KID: I AM TIRED. AND TIRED MOMMY'S MAKE FOR VERY UNPLEASANT MORNINGS FOR ALL PARTIES INVOLVED!!!!!!!!!!

But I just don't think he'd understand yet. But one day. One day, he'll be a teenager, and want to sleep the entire day away, and I will make him wake up at 8 to mow the lawn. :) ahhh. sweet revenge comes to those who wait.....

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

P.S. I can never STAY mad at this child. I mean, LOOK at him. Even at o'dark 30, HE'S JUST SO FREAKIN ADORABLE!!!

Morning Workout

BYUTV has a workout every morning. It switches daily between Yoga and Aerobics. They have Aerobics:Total Body Sculpting and Aerobics:Step and they also have several different Yoga episodes that they rotate through so there is lots of variety on a daily basis.


While I do not have the luxury of this at my home, I DO have the opportunity to record it at the house of the boys that I watch and do it while they are previously occupied. I haven't had a chance to take advantage of this, however I feel that I should. I plan to start bringing a change of clothes so that I can work out for 45 minutes a couple of times a week.

Feel free to check it out with me and let me know what you think!! I, for one, am excited to get started!!

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

Rising to New Levels

I CHALLENGE YOU...

These days, I feel like I need to be more. I feel like I am just sitting idle in a good place, but that I could be striving to be in a much higher place. I feel like this in all aspects of my life.

My marriage. I have an amazing marriage. I love my husband unconditionally, he is my "soul mate" and we are perfect for one another. We are honest and help each other become better people. But I feel like I could be a better wife if I were to put more focus on him. If I were to be more in tune with his wants and try harder to make him happy.

Motherhood. My son is the best kid that anyone could ever ask for. He sleeps through the night, takes good naps, is perfectly content on the floor playing with his toys, eats nearly everything that he should .. he rocks! But I feel like I don't spend enough time on the floor with him. I should be reading to him more, and trying to teach him things. Exercising his brain and helping him reach his full potential.

Myself. I feel like I'm too lazy. I am as active as I need to be to keep my life going (which includes keeping up with Aiden and TK.. aka. my life) but I am not exactly making things easier on myself. I'm not making sense now. ha. Well I feel like by putting for a little more effort to be healthier, I will, in the long run, make life easier. By exercising and eating better (while it will take getting used to and a little more time) I will have a healthier, more energetic body, I'll be able to do more with my day with the extra burst of energy, and we will probably save some money if I make full, healthy meals for my family rather than wasting money on junky fast meals/snacks.

Religion. I feel like I've slacked in this the most. Not that I've gone downhill or anything.. I mean if anything I am slowly rising. However, by putting forth the slightest bit of effort I could be growing so much more. By taking the 15 minutes in the morning to read my scriptures and pray or by having a discussion with my husband over dinner about concepts that are over my head or by taking an extra 2 minutes before bedtime to have family prayer, even just ONE of these things would help me ascend to where I really want to be.

Friends/Family. Living so far away from so many of my friends and family, I just feel so.. distant. Not only the miles have gotten in my way but life is just moving so fast. Between Aiden and TK, most of my time is gone. But then you add in work, and errands, and getting ready for school, and running the household (poorly...) there's really not much else. So I need to take advantage of my driving time or multi-task to be able to call and catch up or email or whatever it takes to show those that I love that I STILL love them.

homemaking This goes along with a lot of my earlier goals. Eating healtier-gotta know how to cook if you're gunna be making healthy meals. Spirituality-the home needs to be a place of order, and peace. Marriage/Motherhood-I'm not the only one who has to live in it. As a mother and a wife, i need to be putting forth more efforts to keep our house in order. Each time I clean a room, it lasts about 2 hours. (mainly because the only room I REALLY need clean to feel the slightest bit good is the kitchen. and cmon, that one is used the MOST.. it never stands a chance). But I need to put my mind to it and get my house 100% clean. Then maybe it will be easier to keep it that way.

Time ManagementI've gotta find a way to do all of this!! I need to prioritize and not procrastinate. I have to focus on how the benefits will outweigh the work and effort that I need to put into it.

SOOOO!! All of this leads me to a challenge. A challenge that I propose to myself but extend to all of you. I CHALLENGE YOU... to choose at least ONE of these areas or even an area of your own to improve on. And work on it.

I am going to be working on all of mine listed above and so when I find a good, healthy recipe or a fun exercise workout, I'll share it with you! Or a great excerpt in the scriptures that really inspired me, ect. Please, leave a comment letting me know what you will be doing so I can be sure to keep an eye out for your posts and we can all keep each other in check!! Bug me if I haven't posted about anything. Ride me about it!!

This is something I feel very strongly that I need to do and support is always great!! So please, let me know if you will accept the challenge. For me, this starts today. Good luck!

Peace, Love, and CookieDough.

Star of Mommy's Blog

You all know it's true, I have turned into one of THOSE mom's who has nothing more exciting to talk about than her child... but I don't care. He's cute and he's fun and he and his father are my entire world!!

Well, my friend Carly decided that we needed to make it official so she bought us this bib and we deemed it official, I present to you, the STAR of my blog :

Aiden Dante Sheppard

Milestones

Aiden is now 8 months old and is growing so fast. He's crawling, trying to sink from a zippy cup, eating almost real food, has 6 teeth, and is so close to saying real words!!

Soon he'll be talking and cruising and walking and throwing tantrums... I just can't believe how awesome he is and how grateful I am for him and the fun we have together!

Peace, love, and cookiedough.

A+ For Effort

Last night Aiden took a stride or two and this morning, I was able to catch a glimpse of it for you... he's growing so fast and getting SOOOOOOO CLOSE!!

Peace, love, and cookiedough.

P.s. I do know that i've sucked at blogging... but life's been hectic so get over it. :)