Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Trial and Error

So yesterday was day 1 of TK's job. He, I'm sure, did awesome. We, on the other hand, didn't.

I failed. No the kids didn't die, and they still have all of their apendages.. but come on now, if that's really that standard we're going by, I should just send them to live with their grandparents, right?! :)

But seriously. At the end of the day, looking back, I am not proud of how the day went. I mean, yes I did clean the kitchen and do the grocery shopping.. but that was after TK came home and after the kids were in bed.

If you think I'm exaggerating, I'm sure my browser history could prove it. I watched a show or two, I skyped my sister as often as I could, I trailed facebook like my life depended on it--and at times, it seems like Aiden's did. I put Aiden in front of a show.. I tried, so hard, to not try. Everything Aiden was doing seemed to annoy me. And I was more edgy than normal. Laziness is my weakess. And this begins the fight to overcome it.

Now, if your a closeted, shameful judgy-mom like me (you know, the kind that hates that secretyly her initial response is to think, "what kind of mom _____" and THEN tries to think more christlike...) then you're probably thinking, "what kind of mom would ignore her kids like that.." or even "what kind of mom would suck so bad and then go on to write it all on a public blog!?" well here's why. I need the motivation. I realize that yesterday, I sucked. I realize that I put trying to ignore my children and get a moment of peace ahead of putting in time with them and truly enjoying them and our day together. I realize that, now. And so now, I have to change. But if no one knows, if no one holds me to it, if I don't have someone to say to, "GUESS WHAT WE DID TODAY??? " then what is to stop me from continuing in this bad habit?

So yes, I failed. Will it happen again today? Hopefully not. But so far, I've given both kids breakfast and bathtime :) And now Aiden's watching a show while Eva naps and I pump. Next up, Mommy and Aiden Clean Aiden's Room!! Yayyyy fun-ness. ha.

1 comment:

  1. You are an amazing Mom! I enjoyed being able to skype with you and see thise precious kiddos. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have rough days. Love you!


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